Tuesday, March 26, 2013

My sweet Baby Girl

Emma Grace Fausnaugh. Who would have ever thought that I would have such a wonderful baby girl, and a wonderful husband. My life is more than I could have ever dreamed, and I can only praise GOD himself for all he has given me. Looking back on all the heartaches and past hurts in relationships, simply means nothing to me now. The days and nights of sadness after breakups are so trivial now.
My life has completely changed. This post is about the sweetest most precious little girl in the whole wide world. I call her my Daughter.
In July 2009, 2 months after I married Matt, I found out I was pregnant. I took several tests and they were all positive, but I was spotting. I went to the dr. and they confirmed the pregnancy and did the bloodwork and the numbers (the hormone levels I guess) were low. They should be doubling and tripling over the next few days, but they didn't. They went down. I was at work when I started bleeding, and I knew right away what was happening. I went home, full of tears.
I had miscarried. I was devastated. I wanted my mommy, so I went home to her house to stay for a few days. I needed her. Honestly, my heart was just so broken. I was so sad and empty. No heartache I've ever felt felt like that.
In December 2009, I had missed my period by a few days, and we were all going to Mom's house for an early Christmas (I think) when I had texted my sister and asked her to not tell anyone but to buy a pregnancy test so I could take one. Of course all the girls knew, Mom, Debbie & Tracy. I didn't even tell Matt though, because I wanted to wait until I was sure. As soon as I got there I went in the bathroom and took the test. POSITIVE! First I was scared, I didn't want it to happen again, what if it wasn't right? What if something happened. I was afraid to be happy because I was scared I would have to go through the heartache again. I told Matt though, and after we got home, I took several more tests, all positive, and little did I know that little Miss Emma Grace was inside me growing!
We waited to tell everyone until my 1st trimester was done, just so I didn't have to go through all the I'm sorry's and it'll be ok's again, and we knew she was ok.
That is how I felt when i fist saw that little dot on the ultrasound.. Every time I went she grew.
The pregnancy was awful, if you kow me then you know all I had to go through as far as throwing up practically EVERY day for 9 months, swollen feet that made me look like the Michelin man, high blood pressure, gestational diabetes..you name it.
On August 8, I had 2 doctor apts. Matt went with me to my regular obgyn, and as we left we had a scheduled induction on the following saturday. Dr. said see you saturday, and next was the specialist apt. All I had to do there was to click a thing every time I felt her move for 15 minutes then I could go home. But..it's all kind of fuzzy, but I told Matt to go ahead and go home since it was a "boring" appointment and it would only take 15 minutes anyways, NEXT THING YOU KNOW...something wasn't right, her heartbeat was fast..or I dont even remember now what happened. I just know that I called Matt and said, WHERE ARE YOU? He said, pulling into the subdivision, I said TURN AROUND NOW! He said, For real? YES! He was there, I was in my room, they gave me a litle pill that was supposed to induce...slept that night, woke up at 6:30 EXCRUCIATING pain. Begged for the epidural. haha, I made it a grand total of 2cm before I got the epidural. Next thing I know, Dr. with scary mask is wobbling in my face saying..there's going to be a lot of commotion, we are doing an emergency c-cection. I am going down the hall, my hands are strapped down like I'm on the cross, I lay there and for some reason I'm trying to figure out where I'm at, I see a walgreens, I'm having a baby and I'm thinking, I'm on teh corner of this street and this street, well at least Matt can walk across the street to get a drink or something... Then she comes out, they say, WELL! Her intestines work! lol. I guess she had to pee ;0 SO, once I heard her cry and knew everything was ok, I laid there. Then my imagination started running wild, what are they doing behind that curtain? I started freaking, trying to get up from the table, my hands are strapped down. Thank god for Mr. epidural drug man, who calmed me down with something. That night I was shaking so bad, maybe the next day too? I was afraid to hold Emma, I was afraid I would drop her with my shaking. SO, after all is said and done, she is perfect. Beautiful. I couldn't have asked for more! My husband right there beside me, my baby girl in my arms as we leave the hospital. Life is forever changed! I can't be MORE blessed. Sure, a lot of "things" you get in life, new cars, new houses, new clothes, new gadgets, iPads phones tvs, but NOTHING IN THIS WORLD compaes to my little girl. NOTHING in this world compares to my handsome husband. (who took it like a champ when we left the hospital on his 40th birthday) I still need to make up that 40th birthday party for him. I love my family. I grew up with the best family, thankfully I still have them, and will continue on with my own little family. So, I'm updating this years later and finally posting it, but it's been 2 1/2 years. I try to take Em to visit Grandmother, Paw Paw & Coco once a week, or every other week. It's hard not seeing Matt like I want to. It's hard working this shift, and waking up and making sure Emma gets to know and love her grandparents as much as I do. I am going to try and take the family to see Daddy & Susan more, it's a little harder, not a day trip there, lots of planning, but I will go there soon too. :) BLESSED BEYOND MEASURE

1 comment:

  1. Jaime, I do remember these moments in your life, and I know it was worth it to you to have her in your life! I hate it happened so hard for you in the pregnancy part, but I am so happy you added that little girl to your life and Matt's and ours!! We love how you have taught her to be a fun little girl and take such good care of her!! You are an excellent Mommy!! And it shows in her carefree life! She loves to share her song and dance and fun side to everyone who is around her. Great blog!!