Monday, February 21, 2011

Just another Manic Monday

So, here it is Monday again, which has been my Friday at work for the past year.
"Bid Time" is coming up and i have to decide whether I have to go to second shift or not. It's such a hard decision because
a. I am used to being home with Emma 4 days a week, but
b. I never get to do anything with my husband.

Granted, we don't have a babysitter to WATCH Emma if we wanted to do something, like a date? (I think that's the word people use for it) BUT, I think this is what we have to do if we want to actually have a relationship again. I feel like I haven't seen my husband in years..

Actually since I had Emma, we have only gotten to go out, well, once.
Thanksgiving Eve. Emma stayed at Moms and we went out. It was nice to have a husband again. But it feels like when will we EVER be able to do it again. DON'T GET ME WRONG! I LOVE LOVE LOVE that little girl with all my heart and soul..BUT..I miss my husband.
Honestly I'd be lying if I didn't say I feel a little jealous of couples who actually get to go on a date. And even if we did get a Mom sitter in Griffin, we would have to drive 1 1/2 hours there and back just to get a 2 hour date or so.

I wish we knew more people where we live, that I could trust to watch Emma while we just go out in town(or who were available) 

It would be nice to just go out to eat(locally) for an hour, and maybe hit a store? Or heck, just going to eat as a husband and wife would be fine with me.
It just seems like so much hassle that if we DID actually try to go out, we would have to pack everything up, drive so far, go eat (and in Griffin at that) to where..J Henrys? (nothin against JHenry's, i'm just saying I don't want to drive all the way to griffin to eat there).
Anyways, right now the possiblility of a date isn't there because I work weekends, and he works weekdays. If we were to go to griffin during the week it would be me packing everything up on a tuesday and him meeting me there after work and then go out and have enough time to get back so he could get back in bed at a decent hour..just not really something we want or have the energy to do.

SO, if I go to 2nd shift, at least every other weekend when we don't have his 2 older kids, we would have an OPPORTUNITY to decide whether we want to drive the drive and go do something.
I wish it could be different where you can have your baby girl and your husband and all the time you spend together is the time you need to keep great relationships, but that's not the case.
We HAVE GOT to do something where we can be together.alone.husband.wife.

I miss him. I miss the way we used to laugh together, or just sit on the back deck and talk or I sit there and go through music while he watches his sports. I miss just me and him time.
I know when we do it, just like when we got to go out thanksgiving first it was hard, and I made Mom call me every single time Emma had a bottle, pooped, peed, cried, lol. BUT, we had a great time, and we enjoyed being together, we just have to find some way to make it happen again.

We almost got to go on a big date around Christmas, where his work was having a party, and we had a room in atlanta reserved and everything! but, mom got sick, and unfortunatley, we didn't have any other options, so we couldn't go.
SO, right now it's hard because I get to see him every night during the week, and then not really on the weekends, but if I go to 2nd shift, I wont see him AT ALL during the week, BUT we will have at least an opportunity to be able to make some date night time happen. I am excited about that.
Because I miss my husband.

So, as long as no one bids the line I am after, I will be on 2nd shift. If they do bid that line..I don't know what I will do. That will be a hard choice, so I'm praying hard about it.
I am ready though, ready to try 2nd shift again, which I haven't worked in 6 or 7 years, in order to be able to spend some QUALITY time with my husband. I know if we could just see each other for an hour or 2, we could laugh together, and kiss, and hug, and just have a good time, and be able to enjoy each other's company again.
Won't that be great! I married him because I enjoy being with him, but I haven't gotten to hang out with him in so long in an environment where we could just truly enjoy each other.

April can't come soon enough!

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